Pop Goes the Damsel

Note: Read "Legends of My Falls, "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O" and "Things That Go Bump in the Night" before reading this post.

During our two years in Virginia, thankfully, I did not fall to the ground. Yes! Oh, but I came close. My grocery cart saved the day.

There was no Safeway store in our area. We had Farm Fresh and Harris Teeter to choose from. It was late on a Sunday evening that my husband and I stopped by the Farm Fresh near our townhouse. We were finishing up a typical weekend of exploring and needed a few things for breakfast the following morning to begin the new work week. My husband stayed in the car while I ran in to do some quick shopping.

Since it was late there was just one clerk on duty at a check stand in the otherwise empty store, and she was reading the newspaper. I grabbed a cart and made my way across the front of the store. Right by this clerk my cart suddenly slid forward rapidly, as did my right foot. My left foot stayed behind, because it did not land in the sticky Sprite that had oozed all over the floor out of the opened two liter bottle laying on its side. Like a pair of scissors, my legs did the splits forward as far as they could go with me still standing. Thank God I was holding onto the cart with all my might or I would have gone all the way down.

I hate to think of how I looked through this whole split-second ordeal. What I can't believe is that the clerk never looked up from her newspaper, even though I was right by her! It wasn't easy getting myself righted again, and I was apprehensive about walking further through the sticky liquid goo. I had to get the attention of the clerk engrossed in her reading and advised her that a Sprite spill had occurred in her store. She shrugged and called someone to come clean it up. She never inquired about how I was. No offer to buy my groceries.

To this day, I can't do the splits.