BVG Night 7/30/14

What a beautiful night! With daytime temperatures in the 80's, it cooled off nicely last evening so we could eat dinner and shoot the breeze---although there was no breeze---on my deck. With my husband on hand to grill to perfection the kabobs were put together, it was an especially relaxing BVG night. Beef kabobs and fresh fruit salad............could it be any better than that? Yes, but just in one way, because j could not be with us last night. We missed her, and she missed out on a superb way to de-stress (and Cool and Elletu both needed that last night). Looking ahead, we planned the themes for our meetings during the rest of the months for this year, but that is as far as we went with any agenda. The idea was to let go of any cares in the world we might have. We talked about the fact that all year we look forward to the few months of the year when we are able to sit out on my deck late into the evening without freezing or getting wet.

THANK GOD FOR THE BLESSED SUMMER MONTHS!

Massacre at Wounded Knee

Note:  Read "Legends of My Falls," "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night," "Pop Goes the Damsel," "Not-So-Secret Garden," "Slip Slidin Away," "Brokeknee Mountain" and "California Texting" before reading this post.

And so I come to the end........my LAST fall!

No, seriously, I'm never going to fall again. I learned my lesson many times over. Now, when I walk across the parking lot at the grocery store, I walk very slowly and deliberately, much like the OLD women I used to observe. I always thought they were lazy, or maybe they were feeling dizzy. I never realized they were afraid of falling because they would surely break something if not just irritate their sciatica even further. Hard to believe I have to walk like all of those women. After all, I'm only 66! Surely they were all 99.

I didn't actually save the best for last. I think "Slip Slidin Away" was my best fall, if you define 'best' as most damaging and most embarrassing (although I didn't have to be embarrassed because I was alone, but you could describe the event as 'bare assed' if you so chose). Still, this last fall, which was this last winter, is worthy of its own place of honor because it was really stupid. Blame it on the fact that it came right after everyone left following our incredible family gathering for Christmas and New Year's. There were 14 of us--16 if you count the two unborn babies--and that included our two grandsons, who were 17 and 14 months old. We had people sleeping on Aerobeds, a futon, a settee, a crib, a Pack & Play, not to mention beds, and people were in and out. Obviously, it was a lot of work for me, and I was tired. Keep that in mind when you consider my big mistake.

I love decorating for Christmas. Undecorating is another story. I have nine large bins for storing all of my Christmas decorations. Taking down our 8 foot tree is quite a chore, same with the outside lights. Once I got things back in the nine bins, I carried them upstairs without telling my husband, who was back to work. He was tired too, and I didn't want to bother him when he came home from work. I stacked the bins in an upstairs closet like I always did, along with the bins for all the other holidays.

Getting everything back in that closet was not working out. First I pulled the folded up Pack & Play out of one end of it and laid it across the floor not far from the door. Then I got a bright idea. I decided to move some of the bins across the hall to the empty closet in the guest room. I climbed up on a step stool at the other end of the closet and brought down one of the bins to transfer to the other closet. I was extremely careful coming down that step stool with that bin. After all, I absolutely did not want to fall. Once on the floor, I turned and headed for the door with the black-topped bin in front of me. I was a woman on a mission.

How quickly I had forgotten about the Pack & Play on the floor. I tripped hard, and I fell forward while clutching that bin. It all happened so fast, yet I had the presence of mind to determine that since I had hurt my left knee during my fall at Crystal Mountain six months previously, it would be wise to fall on my right knee this time. How smart of me after doing something so dumb.

Several things worked together to break my fall. There was the bin of course--I never let go of it. There was the lamp I knocked off the cabinet by the futon, there was the cabinet I knocked over with great gusto, and there was futon itself. I didn't exactly fall on the soft part, but oh well. I didn't go down to the floor, and that's something to be thankful for because, as you know, I would not have been able to get myself up off the floor. I was alone, so no one had to know how quickly I forgot about the Pack & Play on the floor. I was alone, so I didn't cry out.

People speak of looking for 'balance' in life. Just because one knee is injured, you shouldn't seek 'balance' by injuring your other knee. In fact, having both knees injured severely impacted my balance. What I thought on my way down was a good idea turned out to be a bad idea. So much for thinking on my feet.

It has been six months since the "Massacre at Wounded Knee," and I am glad to report my knees both feel okay. I haven't fallen again. Elletu did, but that is her story to tell. In fact, I'm going to get the BVG's to tell me about their falls. I remember when our kids were all very young Elletu fell off her front porch, and in the past year she fell at home and fell out of her chair at work. I remember when Cool slipped while taking a shower and had to go get stitches right before she was leaving on a trip. And j had a little mishap going down the stairs from her utility room to her garage. We are definitely a stumbling bunch.

Note to the BVG's: NO MORE FALLS! WE ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS! AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT!

California Texting

Note:  Read "Legends of My Falls, "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night," "Pop Goes the Damsel," "Not-So-Secret Garden," "Slip Slidin Away" and "Brokeknee Mountain" before reading this post.

Note:  Read "Legends of My Falls," "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase<" "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night," "Pop Goes the Damsel," "Not-S-Secret Garden," "Slip Slidin Away" and "Brokeknee Mountain" before reading this post.

Three years ago we made our fifth move in 13 years, and once again it was from one two-story house to another two-story house. I wonder how many times I walked up and down stairs carrying belongings, whether in a box or not. I shudder to think now, but it was just something we had to do, sciatica notwithstanding. Just a few weeks after we moved we were off to New Orleans for our son's wedding. We were gone for two weeks, and while we were there we rented a large townhouse. Lots of stairs inside, but even more outside. This townhouse was rebuilt after Katrina happened, and it was way high up on stilts. Up and down, down and up, and so on and so on. I had learned my lesson, so I was very, very careful to not fall.

We had a fabulous time but came home exhausted. I got right back to emptying boxes and getting things settled. The following summer we flew to North Carolina for a week for our son's recital before receiving his master's degree. A few weeks later we flew to Greece for our daughter's wedding. We were there two weeks, came home, turned around and flew to Hawaii for the birth of our first grandson. Three months later we drove to California for the birth of our second grandson, and two months after that we once again drove to California for Christmas. Nine months after that we made yet another trip to California. It was during this trip that I suffered my next fall. It was October, so it was a fall fall!!!

Let me point out that my daughter's house has lots of steps in front and back, and it is a two-story house. We sleep upstairs, which means going up and down some incredibly steep wooden steps. And we sleep on a futon, which isn't the best for my back. One night we had climbed those stairs to go to bed. I was exchanging texts with Elletu while standing, and my husband said, "Why don't you sit down to do that?" I thought that was a good idea, so while I continued to text I walked over to my son-in-law's desk chair. I backed up to it and attempted to sit down. I had neglected to note that this chair was on casters. Just as I went to sit, it went, well, 'slip slidin away' from me. I was already starting to sit, and there was no stopping my downward motion. With a loud thud I went down on the hardwood floor. Can I be somewhat indelicate here? Thank God for cushioning buttocks! In spite of my ample cushioning buttocks, my tailbone didn't like my fall, and neither did my sciatica.

My husband had to help me up. I don't think it registered at the time that I couldn't get myself up. He was there, and he helped me. I'm glad he did. Then he held the chair in place so I could sit down properly.

And then, back to texting. I told Elletu about my fall, and I told her, "We must never fall again," but did she listen? Did I listen? 

Brokeknee Mountain

Note:  Read "Legends of My Falls," "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase<" "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night," "Pop Goes the Damsel," "Not-S-Secret Garden" and "Slip Slidin Away" before reading this post.

One of my favorite places in the whole world is Crystal Mountain. Skiers love it in the winter, but I love it in the summer. I have happy memories of riding the chairlift to the top with our young children on warm sunny days. It was such a day when my husband and I made a trip there last July. We parked in the large parking lot at the resort and headed not for the gondolas but to check out a bridge and the quaint Bavarian building on the other side that houses a restaurant.

As we neared the bridge I could hear the sound of a bubbling brook. "Oh, there's water," I observed, and then like a little kid I started to run to the bridge. Me? Run? Never! But for some reason, I took off ahead of my husband, reaching the bridge made of uneven boards before he did. I was wearing my sandals, not the best for good footing, and I hadn't gone far before I tripped. I was thrown forward, and bending over at the waist, I wondered if I could pull myself up and avoid falling. But my forward motion was too much for me, and at some point there I realized there was no avoiding it, I was going down.

I slammed down hard on my left hand and left knee as I fell, and soon I was flat on the bridge. To be in your 60's and in that position is scary, but doing it in public, that is humiliating. An older couple was coming along behind us and of course witnessed my humiliating fall. They join my husband in inquiring, "Are you okay?" This brought back memories of the doorman in Boston (see "The Accidental Tourist") and the two male customers outside of Olympic Coffee in Port Orchard ("The Latte Show"). The three of them helped me get to a sitting position, and my knee was bleeding. My hand hurt. I was truly shaken.

At this point I told this nice couple I would be okay, they could go on their way, but they wouldn't hear of it. "We're not leaving until we know for sure you are okay," the husband said. Then the wife told me she had fallen twice in the past six months, and from one of the falls she had needed dental surgery. My teeth were fine, but my knee was not. Still, not wanting others to try to help me get up, I insisted I needed to get up on my own terms, and gritting my teeth, I got on my knees and began to crawl. And crawl did, all the way over to the side of the bridge, where I was able to pull myself up to a standing position. I thanked the nice couple and said I was fine, and convinced of that, they went on their way.

My left knee hurt for many months. The fall didn't help my sciatica in the least. I told the BVG's about it and said, "No more falls for us," and I really believed it. I thought I would be careful from then on, but three months later I was at it again, and then again three months after that.

What part of 'no' do I not understand???

Slip Slidin Away

Note: Read "Legends of My Falls," "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night," "Pop Goes the Damsel" and "Not-So-Secret Garden" before reading this post.

It is as if every fall I had ever taken served as a rehearsal for 'The Big One.' I don't think it's too unusual for someone to suffer a fall in the bathtub. I know Cool has done it. The fact that I wasn't even bathing makes my story a little more unusual. It was my fastidiousness that did me in. I should have left those tiny black dots on the bottom of my large oval garden tub, but a split second decision to go for perfection led to a perfectly dreadful body slam. My body has never been the same.

It was a hot summer day, and I had been working hard cleaning our two-story house. The last thing on my agenda was to clean the master bathroom. I decided to give the shower a thorough scrubbing, top to bottom, so that included getting down on the floor and scrubbing the shower stall floor with Scrubbing Bubbles. At this point in time, four years ago, I could still get up off the floor by myself. When I did, I got back in the shower and cleaned all the glass walls with the shower running. I didn't step out until the shower was absolutely as good as it was going to get.

I exited the shower and headed for the sink in the large vanity. On the way I passed by my garden tub and got a quick glance at these tiny little black spots on the bottom. I just couldn't let that go. Without thinking, I quickly lifted my left leg and planted my left foot in the tub. I was planning to reach down with my Scrubbing Bubbles-soaked sponge to blot out the tiny black dots. Instead, in the blink of an eye, my left foot, which was obviously also Scrubbing Bubbles-soaked on the bottom, slipped and slid clear across the width of my oversized tub. This action made my right knee slam hard against the outside of the tub, at which time my body was catapulted forward with incredible force. My chest was slammed into the arc of the silver water faucet. I cried out in pain, and I continued to cry until I remembered that no one was there to hear me. Did I mention I was naked? I am SO GLAD no one was there to hear me!

As I straddled the side of my tub, I took stock of the situation. I wiggled my toes--no paralysis. I pictured what I must look like from any angle--good sign, my sense of humor was intact. How I got myself off the side of the tub could have consequences, so I thought things through and did it in an orderly fashion. The fact that I could do it at all was a blessing. I managed to get dressed and in my recliner before I fully surveyed the damage. Bruises covered my chest and my right knee. My back hurt, but not as much as I would have imagined. Still, this dramatic slip and slide has had a lasting, negative effect on my mobility in the form of sciatica.

The important thing is, while I was in the prone position straddling the side of my tub, before I got up to survey the damage to my aching body, I had the presence of mind to clean up those tiny black dots that caught my attention in the first place.

Not-So-Secret Garden

Note:  Read "Legends of My Falls," "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O," "Things That Go Bump in the Night" and "Pop Goes the Damsel" before reading this post.

In 2009 we moved from Virginia back to where it all began, Port Orchard, WA. We moved from a two-story townhouse to a two-story house. Before we left the townhouse I spent hours and hours scrubbing it from top to bottom. Every inch of that place was spotless. Typical of me, I got up on a step stool and cleaned every closet shelf, every kitchen cupboard, every mirror--I even washed clean every single light bulb.

The house we rented out in Manchester was big and, unfortunately, dirty. The spectacular view of Puget Sound, downtown Seattle, Blake Island and Mount Rainier made up for it, I guess. I had to clean everything, and I would like to point out that every light bulb in that big house was dirty/dusty and needed to be cleaned. I am nothing if not thorough.

The yard, too, was a mess. The property management company had failed to keep it up the way the owner in New Mexico had expected. I spent eight straight days, all day, working in that yard, and my husband spent his two weekend days doing the same. There was an upper yard and a lower yard, and in back, a walkway of uneven stepping stones going up. Whatever I trimmed down below had to be carried up the back to the upper yard. On one expedition, with both arms totally loaded with yard waste, I tripped and fell forward to the ground.

You could say the yard waste protected me from my fall. Nothing could protect me from my embarrassment. This walkway was in plain view of the house right behind us, and on that day, at that very moment, several people were standing in the yard and witnessed my fall. What do you say? They had to have seen me, but no one came to my rescue or inquired of my condition. The truth is, I hurt. My hands hurt especially. At least I could still get up off the ground, but the way I had to do it must not have made a pretty picture for my new neighbors. If you're going to fall like that, the least you could do is do it in private. But not me. I had to do it in my not-so-secret garden.

But the most damaging fall would come a year later, in my 'garden tub,' and it's a good thing it was a 'secret garden tub' because I was naked and.....well, I'm getting ahead of myself. Next up: "Slip Slidin Away."

Pop Goes the Damsel

Note: Read "Legends of My Falls, "One Flew Over the Basement Stairs," "Snow White Falling on Cedar," "Down, Down and Away," "The Accidental Tourist," "The Latte Show," "Up the Downed Suitcase," "Hawaii K-O" and "Things That Go Bump in the Night" before reading this post.

During our two years in Virginia, thankfully, I did not fall to the ground. Yes! Oh, but I came close. My grocery cart saved the day.

There was no Safeway store in our area. We had Farm Fresh and Harris Teeter to choose from. It was late on a Sunday evening that my husband and I stopped by the Farm Fresh near our townhouse. We were finishing up a typical weekend of exploring and needed a few things for breakfast the following morning to begin the new work week. My husband stayed in the car while I ran in to do some quick shopping.

Since it was late there was just one clerk on duty at a check stand in the otherwise empty store, and she was reading the newspaper. I grabbed a cart and made my way across the front of the store. Right by this clerk my cart suddenly slid forward rapidly, as did my right foot. My left foot stayed behind, because it did not land in the sticky Sprite that had oozed all over the floor out of the opened two liter bottle laying on its side. Like a pair of scissors, my legs did the splits forward as far as they could go with me still standing. Thank God I was holding onto the cart with all my might or I would have gone all the way down.

I hate to think of how I looked through this whole split-second ordeal. What I can't believe is that the clerk never looked up from her newspaper, even though I was right by her! It wasn't easy getting myself righted again, and I was apprehensive about walking further through the sticky liquid goo. I had to get the attention of the clerk engrossed in her reading and advised her that a Sprite spill had occurred in her store. She shrugged and called someone to come clean it up. She never inquired about how I was. No offer to buy my groceries.

To this day, I can't do the splits.