Uses, Excuses, Ruses and Muses

USES
I now have in my possession a Theracane. I didn't know what a Theracane was until j introduced me to hers. One night when the Bethel Valley Girls were hanging out at her house I grimaced because of some back pain. She asked, "Don't you have a Theracane?" and I asked, "What's a Theracane?" It turns out both j and Cool have one, and since they work together, they also have one at work. Too bad Elletu doesn't have one yet. We should add that to the BVG Demographics:

75% of the BVG's have a Theracane
25% of the BVG's do not have a Theracane

Anyway, although it sounds like a flu medication, it is actually a device that takes the place of my husband's elbow, freeing him up to do other things with his spare time. You see, for a long time I have been plagued with intense upper back/shoulder pain when certain muscles tense up, and the only way I could get any relief was to have my husband dig his pointed elbow in to the muscle and move it around for as long as he could stand it. He's a good sport, but his elbow gets tired. With the Theracane, I can reach it behind me from the front, and the round end can do the digging into the painful muscle. To try and describe the Theracane, it looks like a green cane for a dwarf, with some extra little thingies sticking out of it that serve as massagers.There is a pamplet that came with it that describes and illustrates the USES for the Theracane. I discovered another USE for it on my own and want to post it here: The Theracane is a perfect cane for walking upstairs, and in this house, our bedroom is upstairs. That makes this a multi-tasking device and well worth the $35 I spent on it.

EXCUSES
Elletu was supposed to have surgery last Thursday. It had been postpone by her doctor before and then rescheduled for that date. I was ready to be her ride to the hospital and friend-in-waiting, as in the waiting room, and then I agreed to sit with her in recovery and to go so far as to hold the turquoise kidney-shaped bowl for her should she become nauseated post-surgery (hence the Barf Subway Art in a previous post). But the surgery didn't happen. Elletu fell the Friday night before and cracked her ribs, and the doctor can't operate until she is healed. Of course all the BVG's were anxious to hear what happened with the fall---Where? When? How? Why? (Sorry if that's not in the right order, but it's been over 40 years since I studied journalism and I'm a bit rusty with the rules and formulas.) She would not tell me until we got together in person. We did, and she did, and now she doesn't want me to tell the real story. After a few tries she came up with something worthy of being published. So here is her EXCUSE for the fall the last time I asked her:

You don’t want to hear THAT story again!? OK – I was dressed up and en route to the gala. I was a little preoccupied with my handsome escort (should have been paying more attention to my surroundings) and as I was getting out of the limo, I caught my toe. Luckily, my date caught me in time but I hit the Bentley’s door. It was all so quick…thankfully none of my expensive jewelry broke or anything. The flash of all the paparazzi slightly dazed me - - but you know how THAT is!! J

 

 RUSES

 

That's a RUSE if I've ever seen one!!!!! But I'm printing it here for her benefit. Now we have to wait many weeks for the surgery. However, I printed up the Barf Subway Art on premium matte paper and framed it in a beautiful rich dark wood 11"X14" frame with gold edging. Presumably it is now hanging over her toilet, ready to encourage her if and when that surgery finally happens. Remember Elletu, "You'll Never Barf Alone"! 

 

MUSES

 

In Greek mythology, The MUSES were the goddesses who were the inspiration of literature, science and the arts. They were the daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne. We Bethel Valley Girls often refer to ourselves as being a Sorority, and as most people know, in North America Fraternities (for guys) and Sororities (for girls) are social organizations that bear names made up of two or three Greek letters, often the initials of a Greek motto. When naming our Sorority we thought of Beta Veta Gamma to go with BVG, but then found out there is no V in the Greek alphabet, so the V translates to a B. Thus we went with Beta Beta Gamma, BBG. When I researched that, I found there was actually a Sorority with that name at the University of Hawaii of all places, and it was established in 1948, the year I was born. Both of my sons graduated from UH during the nine years we lived in Hawaii. This just solidified our choice of names. So first came the Bethel Valley Girls, then came Beta Beta Gamma, then came this blog-----a fine specimen of great literature if I do say so myself-----and so it came to me, perhaps we should refer to ourselves as The MUSES. This Greek thing means a lot to me right now, just five days past the birth of my Greek grandson.  My daughter is married to a wonderful Greek man who is much-loved by our whole family, and now they have brought a precious little guy in to the world.  Bowing to Greek custom, they waited three days to name him, as it is said that on the third day a baby boy receives all of his 'attributes' and then a fitting name is chosen. Our grandson has been named Perseus Theodoros, after the Perseus Constellation--which was named after the Greek hero Perseus-- and our son-in-law's father, Theodoros. I've done my research on Perseus, and now after reading about The MUSES, I was interested to read that they are half-sisters to Perseus! Yes, Perseus is the son of Zeus and Danae.  The MUSES and Perseus have the same father, Zeus. However, I suspect this Greek mythology is nothing but a RUSE. That's something I could MUSE about in a future blog post, but for right now that's an ABUSE of my time, because I'm getting ready to go meet my grandson Perseus in California. Can't wait to hold him in my arms.

 

*************

 

And I guess I've MUSED long enough, with USES, EXCUSES, RUSES and ABUSES. But when I don't add to this blog, everyone LOSES!

Day of Joy, Day of Sadness

It's pathetic when the joy of my second grandchild being born today is overshadowed by the news that the coffee shop I have loved for 16 years is closing its doors forever this Sunday. But you know what they always say: "When God closes a coffee shop, He opens a uterus." Well, maybe it's not exactly that, but it's something like it. So as I mourn the closing of our local Tully's coffee shop, I am also celebrating the birth of my daughter's first child, a boy born by emergency C-section in California at 2:40 a.m. I'm going on two hours of sleep, so I really needed that last Tully's latte. Yum! Bye bye, Tully's (sniff sniff), hello.....................Robotaki?

Actually, the baby doesn't have a name yet and might not for a day or two. Since she never wanted to know ahead of time the sex of her child, she decided she'd think of the baby as a little robot (even though I assured her babies are never ever robots). From that the robot became Robotaki, and that's what we've all called him. If my daughter had had a girl, she would have been called Amelia. I love that name and relished the thought of being able to say it often. My son-in-law is Greek, and he gets to pick out a Greek name for the boy. Have you seen a list of Greek names? (This is where you might say, "They're all Greek to me." Of course they are, if you're referring to lists of Greek names.) There are lots of letters in them. Their last name has nine letters, so how rough is it going to be on this kid learning how to spell and write out his name? At least his birth date is sequential and easy to remember: 10-11-12. I love that. His parents are both math geniuses, and I suspect he will be too. He better be good at writing long names as well.

So that's all good, but this coffee shop closing, not so good. Sixteen years is a long time. I go there every Thursday morning at 8 a.m. to meet with three friends. Two of them are retired teachers, and they taught two of my children for many years. Even when I lived away for 11 years, any time I came home on a trip I would meet them in Tully's, and when I moved back three years I took up where I left off. I meet other friends there too, and my husband and I also go there on occasion, not just for the lattes but also for the ambiance. I order the same thing every time: "Grande Latte, please," I say, but then all of the baristas know me and often stop me by asking, "The usual?"

What is it about someone saying, "The usual?" that makes a person feel so good inside? You feel recognized, known, like you matter. It is a sense of 'belonging.' Belonging to a coffee shop? I know, it sounds weird, but it's true. I have a rewards card!! And this is how they reward me, by closing the doors this Sunday and never opening them again?

So I went to say goodbye to Tully's today. My friends and I hugged the baristas, who were crying. One has been working there since it opened in 1996. The other one took a picture of the four of us around 'our' table. I sat in Tully's once at another table with my daughter 14 years ago. She was home from college on her spring break, and while we sat sipping our coffee she was working on writing out a song for her then upcoming senior recital prior to receiving her degree in composition.

Today my daughter produced something much better than a song. She's written oodles of compositions, and none of them took nine months to produce. I won't be able to hold my new grandson for a couple of weeks, but I tell you, he is already playing his song on my heartstrings!

So welcome to this world, with incredible joy, Robotaki. And, sadly, RIP Tully's.
P.S. BVG's FOREVER!

Diversity

It isn't often that I make two blog entries in one day. Come to think of it, this has never happened before. After reading my post earlier today, both Cool and Elletu responded. Cool was cool with me being an Honorary BVG. Elletu pointed out that they accepted me as a BVG even though I didn't live on Bethel Valley Lane way back then--31 years ago to be exact--and did so to 'diversify.' I love it! So the BVG's were into diversity before diversity was cool. What trendsetters, and what an inspiration! They did not have to go through any 'sensitivity training.' They also didn't receive any federal funding for accepting me. They didn't say, "Sorry, you don't live here, you're not like us, now go away."

And that's how LL Cool j came to be, even though they were really L Cool j. It was meant to be.

Thanks again, BVG's!

Honorary BVG

It is October 5, and I just finished wrapping seven Christmas gifts. Six of them I made, three of them for the Bethel Valley Girls. When they read this they will roll their eyes, I'm quite sure. They will say I'm just channeling my inner Martha Stewart, or as they say, MFS. I don't do this to make my Sisters envious of or upset with me. My daughter will be having her first baby any day, so we have a trip to California coming up to hold our second grandchild and to help our daughter and son-in-law. We'll make another trip there in December to enjoy a big family Christmas. Because of these trips, I need to be ready for Christmas much earlier than usual.

While I was making gift cards for the BVG's presents, I realized for the first time that they each have an i in their name. While my BVG name, Firstelle, has an 'i' in it, my real name does not, and that's what I'm talking about, real names. Theirs have i's and mine does not. And why are they not at home making and wrapping Christmas gifts? It's because they are at work. They are all gainfully employed, but I am not. I'm retired without a pension. Thank God for my husband who does a great job supporting me in the manner to which I have become accustomed since I quit teaching piano five years ago.

These are three commonalities between my friends, the Bethel Valley Girls:

* They all lived on Bethel Valley Lane----I did not
* They all have i's in their names---I do not
* They are all gainfully employed---I am not

It is as I have always known: I'm not REALLY a Bethel Valley Girl. I am just an HONORARY one.

But we have this in common:

WE LOVE US!

My Other Blog

This isn't my only blog. Though techincally my Monday Morning Update (MMU) wouldn't be considered a blog per se, it operates in the same way as a traditional blog. Every Monday morning I 'post' my thoughts to what I call the 'MMU Family.' We are a 'family' of 15, and this 'family' actually includes my family members, all eight of us, and the other seven are 'adopted family.' One was our foreign exchange student from Sweden 15 years ago, and he's still part of our family. Another lived in our neighborhood (next cul-de-sac over) when we were raising our children. I met her when I would go in to our middle son's kindergarten class to help kids with reading. Soon she was playing in our backyard and, lacking any real supervision at home, she sort of became part of our family in a very special way. Another MMU Family member once dated our daughter, and his humor fit with our family's so well, he seems like he must have been born in to our family. Another is our son's best friend and roommate, along with our now-daughter-in-law's cousin--they make the cutest couple! Still another is the daughter of close friends of ours (they are part of the 'Warthog Crew'), and the newest member is my niece, who is close to our daughter.

I mention this here because to me, the Bethel Valley Girls are 'family' too. I have another group of friends I call 'The Warthog Crew,' and they're definitely 'family' to me. So what is FAMILY? I am pondering that on this drizzly Friday morning, thinking how amazingly blessed I feel and realizing things weren't always this way for me.

I decided to jot down the things that come to mind first when I think of the word 'family':

Love
Security
Trust
Traditions
Fun Together
Sharing Joy, Sharing Sorrow
Shared Values
Enhancing Life

Like so many people, I grew up in what would be by today's standards a 'dysfunctional family.' No need to dwell on that. It is what it is, or I guess I should say it was what it was. Not all was bad, so having made peace with what was, I have moved forward and have embraced the good. That's what I concentrated on when raising my own family. With God's help I have designed how I wanted my life to be, and along with my husband have set out to make family functional for our three children. At the same time we have opened our arms wider to keep family from being an exclusive, closed group. It is no accident that they have gone out in to the world with their arms and hearts open to good relationships, good friendships, lives of their own. We envisioned this for them.

So about this other blog, the MMU...Five years ago we became empty-nesters when we moved from Hawaii to Virginia. That's a huge move and a real cultural shift. We didn't know then that eventually we would finally make it back to Washington State, our point of origin. For me, I left the career I loved behind when we moved yet again because of my husband's career. I mourned the loss of friends in Hawaii while I still missed my friends in Washington. Both of our sons had lived with us through their college years, but now they were college graduates, off on their own like their sister before them, pursuing their dreams and their careers. Here we were living in a state I did not know. My husband's employer would only ship one of our cars with our belongings, so he took our van to work every day leaving me alone in our townhouse with no car, no friends, no interesting place to walk. I missed my family, and I literally cried out to God about it. He sent me a solution, although I did not see at the time what a great idea He had.

My husband and I are explorers. We spent every weekend in our new state exploring all this new territory, and we were doing fun and interesting things. I would send individual e-mails to our children--who all lived in different states--telling them about our adventures. When I was lamenting to God about our family being so spread out and how that made my heart ache, He clearly said to me, "If you want to do something to keep your family close, then write a Monday Morning Update to all of them at once." And so the MMU was born, and before long, our children were writing responses back and forth. I saw a new closeness developing before my very eyes. We loved it, they loved it.

Five years later, the MMU is still going strong. Our three children have married, expanding the original MMU list to eight, including my husband and me. Along the way, as I said, seven others have asked to be added to the MMU, and I learned recently that our children having been passing especially good ones to their friends. We have a following!

I mentioned The Warthog Crew---this consists of three other couples besides my husband and me. The husbands are my husband's three closest friends, and between them they represent over 130 years of friendship. Between the four couples, we represent about 170 years of marriage. I dubbed us The Warthog Crew after we started the tradition of meeting at the Warthog BBQ Restaurant to celebrate my husband's birthday every year.

Ah yes, traditions..........don't they keep families connected through the years, even through the generations? The MMU has become a tradition. It keeps our family close even though we are spread out so many miles apart. I suspect that after I pen my last MMU, one of my children will volunteer to pick up where I left off. With the Warthog Crew we have lots of traditions. We get together every September for the Fox Island Garage Sale, followed by lunch together. We have Christmas parties, celebrate each other's birthdays, do murder mystery parties, have a Green Party on St. Patrick's Day, etc.

THE BETHEL VALLEY GIRLS AS FAMILY

We truly LOVE each other. Our motto is 'Love us!' We are SECURE in the knowledge we are here for each other no matter what. We can TRUST each other with our very lives. We have our TRADITIONS, like our once-a-month gathering for dinner (Winings and Dinings) and our Christmas gift exchange. We have so much FUN together---hello, Spa Day!! We SHARE OUR JOYS and SHARE OUR SORROWS. For instance, they gave me an Attitude Adjustment Shower when I was pregnant with my third child--truly unplanned--and was so sick, reminding me that they were there for me during those difficult months. They really did change my attitude! By the same token, 29 years later they surprised me with a fun Grandma Shower, celebrating the imminent births of my two first grandchildren, the first to be born to that 'surprise child' and his wife, the second to my daughter. We have all suffered the loss of our parents during the course of our long friendship, and we have prayed for and encouraged each other as our various grown children have gone through their own struggles. We have SHARED VALUES, and for instance, I know we'll all be voting the same in this presidential election. But more importantly, we know and love God and have put our faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. And because of all of the above, the Bethel Valley Girls have ENHANCED MY LIFE.

This has been a long blog entry, but this is what was in my heart and on my mind this morning. Here's to the Bethel Valley Girls, my Sisters, my dear friends, forever and ever. May we be blessed with many more than just these 31 years of friendship. And together we say, "Love us!"   

Subway Art for the Bathroom

Today was supposed to be surgery day---not for me but for Elletu. I was ready to drive her to the hospital, be in the waiting room, sit with her in recovery, drive her home to my house and care for her needs. She asked, "Are you up to all that?" And like a good friend, I not only agreed to the above by told her I would have no problem holding the kidney-shaped spit-up bowl for her post-surgery should all that anesthetic make her sick to her stomach. As we sat together at a recent BVG event (there have been two since I last blogged, lunch out for Elletu's birthday and a dinner at my house), the synonyms for the word 'vomit' came up (no pun intended there). This led to an Internet search for phrases used to denote the 'evacuation of one's stomach contents,' and that led to what I call Barf Subway Art. Subway art is all the rage right now, and I love working on it, but I just don't think anyone else would be perverse enough to do what I am doing for Elletu. Hopefully this will keep her encouraged as she recovers from the surgery rescheduled for two weeks from now. This Barf Subway Art will be printed on premium matte paper and will be beautifully framed to be hung above her toilet. Funny thing, she's not planning to take it down once she is well. This is a true friend!

Barf PUKE Spit up

retch upchuck eject URP

laugh and the world laughs with you, barf and you barf alone

toss one's cookies RALPH disgorge

Throw Up HURL  lose your lunch

bow down before the porcelain god  VOMIT

GAG her barf is worse than her bite

disgorge  SPEW  throw up EXPEL un-swallow

gastro geyser sick to your stomach evacuate

baking powder or baking soda: that is the question

Nauseate regurgitate dry heaves

round-trip meal ticket  CALL EARL

HEAVE projectile EXPECTORATE

friends don't let friends barf alone

 

I'm not sure which word best suits my absence from blogging, hiatus or sabbatical, but it's true, I've been away. Now I'm back, and I return to this blog with a new title, Grandma. It will be six weeks tomorrow since our first grandchild, a healthy baby boy, was born to our son and daughter-in-law in Hawaii. I'm the last of the Bethel Valley Girls to become a grandmother, but this is not my last grandchild. In fact, six weeks from tomorrow is the due date for our second grandchild, who will be born in California to our son and daughter-in-law. Notice the trend? My grandchildren will not be living by me, so I will miss out on a lot of the fun associated with being a grandmother. Of the four of us, only one BVG has her grandchildren living by her, and even she has three grandchildren who live far away, in fact in a foreign country. Now we can all work together on perfecting the fine art of 'Grandloving from Afar.' 

There has been even more joy to celebrate in our family. Our daughter was married on a Greek island three days before our son's wife gave birth on the other side of the world. This explains part of my silence on this blog: Two weeks in Greece followed by two weeks in Hawaii. The other is the sudden death of our computer the day before we left for Greece, which was finally rectified shortly before my husband left on a two-week business trip to Guam. Dealing with our jet lag after splitting our time in a month between Greece (10 hours ahead) and Hawaii (three hours behind) left us rummy and exhausted. Now my husband will have to readjust after being in Guam (17 hours ahead). Dealing with my old, extremely slow, dazed and confused laptop in the absence of my wonderful desktop with high-speed capacity left me visibly and audibly upset and ready to smash it with hammer. Now the computer's back, my husband is almost back, and we're getting ready for another Bethel Valley Girl event tomorrow evening. Life is good, and I'm happy to be getting back to some semblance of normalcy, whatever that is. With my hiatus, or sabbatical, behind me, I'm ready again to explore the special joys of endearing and enduring friendship with the Bethel Valley Girls.

The past four months have been pretty crazy for our family. At the end of April my husband and I flew to North Carolina for our son's musical recital prior to his receiving his master's degree with a double major in Jazz Performance nad Composition. Then came the trips to Greece and Hawaii. There will be trips to California in October for the new baby and back to California in December for the whole family to be together for Christmas. My head is still spinning. Last year our son was married in New Orleans right after we moved to a new house, and two months later our daughter was married in a civil ceremony in London, where she had been living for a year. We went to California in September to see her on one of her business trips, and then she and her husband moved there in January. A month later they were surprising us with the news she is pregnant, and they still went ahead with their Greek wedding, which was followed by a traditional American wedding. It's all be fun and exciting, but it's been overhwelming at times too. So at our last BVG gathering at my house two weeks ago, we did something we've never allowed ourselves to do in the past: We gave each one of us ten minutes to whine while we had a glass of wine before it was time to dine. I dubbed the evening 'A Whine-Wine Situation' and it was kind of funny listening to our attempts at being true gripers.

Truth be told, God has been very good to us, and the true gift of friendship is being able to share each other's joys and bear each other's burdens. And that's what it means to be a Bethel Valley Girl.