Most of the posts on our blog are funny by nature. This one is not. A dear friend of ours---an FOBVG, or a Friend of the Bethel Valley Girls--has been diagnosed with myeloma and is undergoing a bone marrow biopsy this morning. His so ill we cannot see him. His wife had been planning to come to the BVG Bring a Friend Night next Wednesday, as she did last year, but that will be the day she will be with her husband when they are delivered the results of the tests for leukemia and bone cancer. From there they plan to transition to the Cancer Care Alliance in Seattle. It seems this is all happening so fast, and my husband and I are sick at heart over this sad turn of events. John, our FOBVG, has been my husband's closest friend for 53 years, since they were in seventh grade. They are as close as brothers, if not closer. John was an only child, and through the sad circumstances of my husband's childhood, he wasn't able to be close to his brothers, of which he had three. When he was in sixth grade his invalid father died, and his mother abruptly moved him from rural Eastern Idaho to Tacoma, WA, marrying her late sister's alcoholic widower so she could care for his children while he went away with the military. Entering seventh grade that way was disconcerting to my husband, but another seventh grader reached out to him in acceptance and friendship. That was John, and to this day he has been that kind of friend. He was my husband's best man at our wedding 38 years ago, and his wife, Laurie, was my matron-of-honor.
We raised our children together. They adopted their son as a newborn three months before our daughter was born. Laurie and I even had the same doctor.
Together we faced the deaths of John's father, my husband's mother, brother, sister, sister-in-law and two brothers-in-law, both of Laurie's parents and her brother, and both of my parents. We've been there for each other so much, I just can't imagine life without either one of them.
Not long ago I published this photo on our blog:
That's John with the blindfold, playing 'Pin the Glasses on the Old Person' at our Jack Benny Party 27 years ago. I think I posted this picture as well:
That's me, playing the same game. Like Route 66 being the theme at my husband's recent 66th birthday party, poking fun at how we would be in the future was our theme at our Jack Benny Party. We were paying homage to Jack Benny who maintained that he was 39 decades after he had surpassed that age. That was the year nine of us turned 39. Oh, that sounds so YOUNG now! To both parties John wore the same T-shirt which reads: "The Older the Violin, the Sweeter the Music." It's a nice thought, but getting older as we all are now makes us face our own mortality in ways we never did back in our 30's and 40's and even in our 50's.
There were photos from the Jack Benny Party I haven't posted, but I will here:
Ah, yes, the walker relay races, the highlight of the party...so much fun, so much laughter. This party, like so many other occasions, facilitated the intertwining of the Bethel Valley Girls and other friends of ours. That's why today the lines are blurred. Sometimes I forget where the BVGs end and FOBVGs begin. The BVGs can't help but love John. Cool referred to both him and Laurie being "huge-hearted." I liked that. It so fits them! And they have always been foremost in helping plan all of our zany parties over the years. They have added so much joy to my life. We used to spend every New Year's Eve with them, having a big fondue and always including our children. We would spend the night and enjoy New Year's Day together too. They were the friends we ended and started every year with until we moved to Hawaii, and even then we would call them on New Year's Eve. They would tell us their plans, who they would be with, but they would purposefully change that every year because, as Laurie put it, they didn't want anyone to get the idea they were starting a tradition with them. They were just waiting for us to come back.
It seemed back then, 27 years ago, that we would never get old and never need aids like walkers. We laughed about all of that then, and even now, when I look at these pictures and reminisce about the fun of even just planning the events of that day, I smile. What happened earlier this week makes me smile, albeit through tears. It was another example of the gift of friendship in the time of trouble and the special nature of this foursome, the Bethel Valley Girls.
When I called and talked to Laurie and heard John's dire diagnosis, I of course offered my love, condolences, encouragement, support---"What can we do to help you?" I asked. She and John aren't ones to ever ask for help nor to complain about anything they are going through, and they have gone through so much. I was able to find out while she had a wheelchair for him when they went to medical appointments, she needed a walker for him to use at home. I told her we would find one and would also come over to do the only other thing she needed, which was someone to change the several light bulbs that needed changing but were too high up for her to reach. When I got off the phone I sent an e-mail to the BVGs and our closest FOBVGs. Within minutes j called with an offer of a walker they had in their attic, and soon Cool texted me, offering the brand new walker they had for her husband's recovery from his recent spinal surgery. Within a half hour we were on the road, first picking up at walker at Cool's house, then another one at j's, and then we headed for John's house. Their house is divided in two by a raised entryway. Two walkers were needed, but Laurie had never asked for two.
It's ironic, isn't it? Two walkers needed, only one requested, two walkers offered and ascertained, and both from BVGs. With willing hearts and concern for John j and Cool responded so quickly. Walkers, a source of humor in our hands 27 years ago, now a lifesaver for an FOBVG we all care about and pray over now.
And so today, as I pray fervently over John and Laurie, I also stop to thank God anew for friends and friendship, something He created because in His Infinite wisdom He knew how much we would need them all along the way throughout our lifetime. For us, it is now more than ever.
Our theme at Bring a Friend Night was already decided: 'Thank God for the Gift of Friendship.' How timely is that?
No comments:
Post a Comment